He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
