Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
