Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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