Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
