I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
