True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize