I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
