hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
