im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize