thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
