I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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