I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
