Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
