I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
