What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
