Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
