Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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