And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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