ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
