His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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