My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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