No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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