I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
