wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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