Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
