That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
