her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
