OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
