Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
