So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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