what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
