Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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