so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
