Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
