There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
