I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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