I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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