Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
