So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
