Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
