I will die if light touches me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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