Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
