he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
