allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Someone signed my nipple.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
