yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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