what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
