are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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