we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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