I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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