The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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