if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
