My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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