once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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