Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
