we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize