so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
