I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize