I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
is wine microwaveable?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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