he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
