everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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