Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize